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Through Her Eyes

what you need to know
So I'm Holly. I'm 14, but sometimes I feel like I'm 4. I have tons of aliases, and I love roleplaying. I recently got a cell phone and I love it soo very much. I'm addicted to the Sims, and I have a very deep relation ship with my kitten Stryder. That about sums it up I think..

sites i visit

contact me
p) archives



 

::points at self:: IM CRAZY
08.16.04 (7:17 am)   [edit]
DisorderRating
Paranoid:Moderate
Schizoid:High
Schizotypal:Very High
Antisocial:Moderate
Borderline:Very High
Histrionic:Low
Narcissistic:High
Avoidant:Very High
Dependent:High
Obsessive-Compulsive:Moderate

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --


 
spirit
08.14.04 (5:12 pm)   [edit]
we went to des moines today.
mostly because They had a paper signing dealy with some refinancing place..whatever.
but then we got to go to the franklin ave library!
i got some good books on astral projection and such.
however, the one that i really wanted was missing...
the computer said it was in, and i couldn't find it so i asked Librian Linda and she told me it hadn't been checked out since September of 2000.
then she went and looked herself, and after about 10 minutes declared it missing.
:cry:
then we went over to east village cos He wanted to check out Zzz Records (er, whatever it's called).
they had the new James D. Stark cd.
yay!
i love his newish look.
he's all eyeliner, gothy, lovely looking.
he still has the amazing power.
it's like when he performs no one can take their eyes off of him.
mmm..very nice.
but onto the rest of the day!
while we were in east village He said there was this cool store we had to check out.
it turned out to be a very nice occult shop..i cant quite remember what it's called.
The Atlantist?
i dunno, it was like Atlantic but there was something different...Atlanticist?
blah.
i got an awesome pentagram necklace there.
which launched Him into a huge talk about making religous statements.
ugh.
He's so scared of what im becoming.
im turning out more like my mother...Her and i are bonding a lot more.
She's actually really great.
i dunno, i could tell She didn't mind the pentagram. probably because She was a lot like me when She was younger.
but He's all like freaking out about people thinking i practice black magick and stuff.
i felt like screaming, "REAL WITCHES DONT DO BLACK MAGICK BECAUSE IT BREAKS EVERYTHING WE BELIEVE IN!"
but i was a good girl.
:roll:
sometimes it's hard having two parents so totally differnt.
He grew up in a god fearing household...He had a wonderful childhood and loves his parents..He wasn't a rebel, He still believes in heaven and hell and all that shit, much as He denies it.
She also grew up in a god fearing household..She didn't have a wonderful childhood, and She doesn't really like her parents all that much. She was a total rebel, and does NOT believe in any of that christian garbage.
i like Her better.
sometimes i wonder about my real father.
ugh..whatever.
ANYHOO
i redyed my hair today.
back to a total redhead!
yay.
i love the colour.
i was actually thinking of doing dark brown..maybe next time.
:)
well, im out for now.
gotta go read about astral projection.
later.
<33>-holly-
 
quizzes from mewing.net
08.13.04 (7:11 pm)   [edit]




take the "are you a democrat or a republican?" test.



and go to mewing.net to love or sass.







my style of love is:
STORGE
Love begins as friendship and has little drama.
what's your style of love?
| mewing.net. where love goes to die.



take the jeans quiz. gus made it!
and go to mewing.net. because laura and gus collectively own over 30 pairs of jeans.





because i thought this picture was pretty, laura of mewing.net told me this: "you have a natural aversion to both seafood and boating, which makes you the ideal landlubber. hence, you most likely live in nebraska, kansas, alberta, or mongolia (you definitely live in the northern hemisphere.) your father was in the coal mining business, and your mother was a ballet-dancer-turned-wait ress. until the age of six, you believed that not only was the earth flat, but that it was enclosed in a glass box in an otherworldly museum. you enjoy wide open fields, trees, and playing poker with your best friend, whose name might be horace."
whatever will laura tell you??



take the antisocial test.
and go to mewing.net. because laura's feeling social.



take the non-offensive quiz.
and go to mewing.net. laura = great.



take the "what's my fault" quiz.
(and then browse around mewing.net. because laura is cool.)



take the death quiz.
and go to mewing.net. laura = great.




My pickup line is:
Can I pick your butt?
what's your pickup line?
| mewing.net. hey, baby.
 
sunny days
08.13.04 (5:57 pm)   [edit]
putting the "amy issue" aside, today was a lovely day.
justin and i were both rather happy today, which is nice.
and it's friday the 13th!!
yay.
the weekend is here, but somehow i dont care.
which is odd, as i hate weekends.
oh well, if it's not bothering me right now im cool with that.
let's think about all the great things that'll happen this weekend..

going to des moines.
nick calls (i hope)
might do something w/ justin? (if he calls and it comes up again)
i have good music to listen to (yay LP)
thinking about cleaning up my room
might get rid of the catbox in my room (cos it's icky)

uhh..that's about it.
nothing much, but it's the little things that make me happy.
yet it is also the little negative things that can get me down.
but i shall try my very hardest not to have a sucky weekend.

i'll keep you posted.
later.
-holly-
 
bleeding hearts
08.13.04 (7:46 am)   [edit]
amy just called..
she got caught.
she told her brother she was cutting, and he told her mum, and her mum told amy's counselor, and her counselor told amy's grandma.
amy hasn't been taking her pills lately..
ugh.
i cant believe she got caught...AGAIN.
okay, actually i can believe it.
she wasn't being careful anymore.
after liz, kathryn, and kelsey found out i wondered how long it would be before her grandma found out.
and now she has.
if amy doesn't stop she goes back to the hospital.
back to impatient.
back into the world where i cant reach her.
she'll be sucked back into the happiness, and i'll be left wondering how long until it wears off.
i dont want to lose my sister again.




i knew i should've called last night.
 
time is slipping away
08.12.04 (5:57 pm)   [edit]
ive taken two naps today.
the first one was at 3:45-4:15..
justin said i should go get some sleep since i was tired.
he even was kind enough to call and wake me up.
i love when he does that.
im always groggy, i answer the phone with a sleepy "hello?" and he's just like "hello."
i love the way he says it.
::sigh::
my second nap i awoke from at 7:30..i dunno when i fell asleep.
i was reading and after awhile i just felt so sleepy i desided to take a nap.
it was after She asked if i wanted dinner.
the whole day is kinda foggy..like it wasn't really today.
yeah.
i wonder if im coming down with something.
im just so tired lately..i dunno.
perhaps it's just loneliness.
looking back on my summer i can count the times i spent the night with friends: once.
i can count how many times i went out with friends: five.
how many people can do that?
ugh..i cant wait for school to start.
and i cant wait to sleep in tomorrow.
well, i think i'll go to bed.
night.
-holly-
 
emo country?
08.11.04 (12:40 pm)   [edit]
ive desided that emo music must have some roots in country.
it's like country lyrics to rock music.
yeah.
cos country is all like about how sad they are about losing their chicks, which covers a lot of emo music.
let's see if you can tell the difference:
Emo or Country Lyrics?

No other lover ever really cared
When I've reached out for you you've always been there
Now I'm so far away and baby I'm scared
I never knew lonely til you
------------------------- ---
the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleedin on your shirt

what is what, who is who, which is which?
:-D
hehe.
im done.
-holly-
 
but of course when things start looking up.......
08.09.04 (9:05 am)   [edit]
NYJetsFan4Life28: hello
Ecstasy P u nK: can i help you?
NYJetsFan4Life28: maybe
Ecstasy P u nK: i see
NYJetsFan4Life28: do you?
Ecstasy P u nK: no
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'm sorry to hear that
Ecstasy P u nK: oh well
NYJetsFan4Life28: guess what
Ecstasy P u nK: what
NYJetsFan4Life28: david and i have a class together
Ecstasy P u nK: pe
Ecstasy P u nK: i know
NYJetsFan4Life28: we have spanish together too
Ecstasy P u nK: ::mock excitement
Ecstasy P u nK: ::
NYJetsFan4Life28: YAY
Ecstasy P u nK: i have a question
NYJetsFan4Life28: okay
NYJetsFan4Life28: i just may have an answer
Ecstasy P u nK: is it legal to move out when you're 17 if youve graduated?
NYJetsFan4Life28: you've already asked me that
Ecstasy P u nK: so?
Ecstasy P u nK: answer it anyways
NYJetsFan4Life28: ok
NYJetsFan4Life28: joey doesnt think so
Ecstasy P u nK: i didn't ask joseph
NYJetsFan4Life28: so?
Ecstasy P u nK: so i dont want his answer
NYJetsFan4Life28: but
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'm thinking the same thing
Ecstasy P u nK: fine
Ecstasy P u nK: i'll wait until the 31st
NYJetsFan4Life28: hmm?

Auto response from Ecstasy P u nK: loud crash downstairs..if im not back in ten minutes it was some bastard who broke in and desided to kill me

Ecstasy P u nK: nothin
NYJetsFan4Life28: why does it matter?
Ecstasy P u nK: what?
NYJetsFan4Life28: nothin
Ecstasy P u nK: ::goes back to obsessivly listening to her song::
NYJetsFan4Life28: what song would that be?
Ecstasy P u nK: Pretty Girl...
Ecstasy P u nK: sugarcult
NYJetsFan4Life28: okay
Ecstasy P u nK: good song
NYJetsFan4Life28: good
NYJetsFan4Life28: joey's sister has no feet
Ecstasy P u nK: i see
NYJetsFan4Life28: and
NYJetsFan4Life28: his dog is getting put to sleep at 2:30
Ecstasy P u nK: tell him to bring the camera
NYJetsFan4Life28: why
Ecstasy P u nK: to take pictures of the awesome event
NYJetsFan4Life28: YOU'RE SICK
Ecstasy P u nK: nah..depressed
NYJetsFan4Life28: aww
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'm sorry
Ecstasy P u nK: why would you be sorry?
NYJetsFan4Life28: because i am?
Ecstasy P u nK: you shouldn't be
NYJetsFan4Life28: why not
Ecstasy P u nK: because you have no reason to be
Ecstasy P u nK: ?
NYJetsFan4Life28: depression
NYJetsFan4Life28: ?
Ecstasy P u nK: not your fault
NYJetsFan4Life28: can i help?
Ecstasy P u nK: no
NYJetsFan4Life28: but

Auto response from Ecstasy P u nK: sitting in my room listening to pretty girl on endless repeat and thinking of all the stuff i have to do today that i shall refuse to do

NYJetsFan4Life28: hmm
NYJetsFan4Life28: refuse?
NYJetsFan4Life28: but

Auto response from Ecstasy P u nK: actually i lied...im going to try very hard to sleep this day away.
call the cell if you're anyone but you..or can work up the courage ( ;-) my buddy) so yeah..i'll be in bed to say the least.

NYJetsFan4Life28: but
NYJetsFan4Life28: so
NYJetsFan4Life28: why
NYJetsFan4Life28: is you sleeping the day away
NYJetsFan4Life28: ?
NYJetsFan4Life28: fine
NYJetsFan4Life28: dont come back
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'll just go
NYJetsFan4Life28: since you'd rather sleep
Ecstasy P u nK: not like it matters
Ecstasy P u nK: cookie monster and i desided we'd come write poetry
Ecstasy P u nK: besides..i told david id be here
NYJetsFan4Life28: OHH
NYJetsFan4Life28: DAVID
NYJetsFan4Life28: but dont tell me
NYJetsFan4Life28: just david
Ecstasy P u nK: ::blink::
Ecstasy P u nK: ups is here for me
NYJetsFan4Life28: fine
NYJetsFan4Life28: go get your friggin package
NYJetsFan4Life28 signed off at 11:40:27 AM.
Ecstasy P u nK: or the neighbor
Ecstasy P u nK: it'll get here sometime today
NYJetsFan4Life28: hmm
Ecstasy P u nK: HMM
NYJetsFan4Life28: but

Auto response from Ecstasy P u nK: cookie monster and i are reading..IM me if you wanna talk..i just might come back.

NYJetsFan4Life28: maybe i dont want to talk
NYJetsFan4Life28: ever think about that?
NYJetsFan4Life28: i love the 90's
NYJetsFan4Life28: fien
NYJetsFan4Life28: fine*
NYJetsFan4Life28: dont come back
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'm not important enough
NYJetsFan4Life28: i understand
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'll just go
Ecstasy P u nK: okay
NYJetsFan4Life28: oh
NYJetsFan4Life28: so now you want me to go
Ecstasy P u nK: if it makes you happy
NYJetsFan4Life28: no
NYJetsFan4Life28: but it will make you feel better
Ecstasy P u nK: honestly
Ecstasy P u nK: i dont care
NYJetsFan4Life28: so you want me to go?
Ecstasy P u nK: i
Ecstasy P u nK: dont
Ecstasy P u nK: care
NYJetsFan4Life28: then i'll go
Ecstasy P u nK: whatever you want
NYJetsFan4Life28: i dont want to
NYJetsFan4Life28: but
NYJetsFan4Life28: since you dont care
Ecstasy P u nK: at the moment all i care about is....
Ecstasy P u nK: uhh
Ecstasy P u nK: at the moment i dont care
Ecstasy P u nK: go have fun
Ecstasy P u nK: i'll be all happyish later
NYJetsFan4Life28: why is that?
Ecstasy P u nK: to make you happy
NYJetsFan4Life28: hmm?
Ecstasy P u nK: nothin
Ecstasy P u nK: go have fun w/ friends
Ecstasy P u nK: be merry
Ecstasy P u nK: and joyful
NYJetsFan4Life28: whats wrong?
Ecstasy P u nK: nothing, dammit
Ecstasy P u nK: go enjoy your life
NYJetsFan4Life28: i cant now
Ecstasy P u nK: just do it
Ecstasy P u nK: it'll make me happy to know you're having fun
NYJetsFan4Life28: i dont want to leave you though
Ecstasy P u nK: i'll be fine
Ecstasy P u nK: davids here
Ecstasy P u nK: online..
NYJetsFan4Life28: ok
NYJetsFan4Life28: as long as you have david
Ecstasy P u nK: yeah.
Ecstasy P u nK: ........
Ecstasy P u nK: just go have fun
NYJetsFan4Life28: i'll try
NYJetsFan4Life28: not that it will work
Ecstasy P u nK: please?
Ecstasy P u nK: it'll make me feel better to know you're having fun
NYJetsFan4Life28: fine
Ecstasy P u nK: fine
 
back to grey
08.09.04 (8:47 am)   [edit]
I HATE SCHOOL REGISTRATION
I HATE JUSTIN WHEN HIS FRIENDS ARE AROUND
I HATE ME
I HATE NIK
I HATE LIFE
i wanna go cry.
 
a talk with HIM
08.08.04 (9:28 am)   [edit]
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:57:35 AM): hello
Auto Response From ecstasypunk (11:57:35 AM): if today is the first day of the rest of our lives then what the hell was yesterday?!
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:58:02 AM): ok
ecstasypunk (11:58:09 AM): mm..well hello
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:58:22 AM): hello
ecstasypunk (11:58:30 AM): and how are you today?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:58:41 AM): dandy
ecstasypunk (11:58:48 AM):
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:58:50 AM): and you?
ecstasypunk (11:59:10 AM): uhh....alone?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:59:20 AM): i'm sorry
ecstasypunk (11:59:37 AM): the funny thing is..im not actually alone
NYJetsFan4Life28 (11:59:51 AM): how is that?
ecstasypunk (12:00:13 PM): there are other humans in the house?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:00:21 PM): i see
ecstasypunk (12:00:38 PM): mhmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:04:43 PM): so...
ecstasypunk (12:04:49 PM): so?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:05:07 PM): uh huh
ecstasypunk (12:05:21 PM): yeah.
ecstasypunk (12:06:07 PM): what time did you get to bed?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:06:11 PM): 2
ecstasypunk (12:06:19 PM): heh.
ecstasypunk (12:06:42 PM): i read until 1:30ish.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:06:53 PM): i see
ecstasypunk (12:07:15 PM): yesh..twas a scary book, so i had to finish it in order to sleep well
ecstasypunk (12:07:28 PM):
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:07:44 PM): okay
ecstasypunk (12:07:50 PM): mhmm
ecstasypunk (12:08:21 PM): your lover was on earlier..but he signed off
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:08:29 PM): good
ecstasypunk (12:08:39 PM): good?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:08:42 PM): yes]
ecstasypunk (12:09:00 PM): ::says nothing, as she doesn't know what to say::
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:09:21 PM): uh huh
ecstasypunk (12:09:29 PM): mhmm
ecstasypunk (12:11:26 PM): ::yawns::
ecstasypunk (12:11:51 PM): i tis tired
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:11:57 PM): me too
ecstasypunk (12:12:09 PM): maybe you should've gone to bed earlier
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:12:16 PM): you too
ecstasypunk (12:12:27 PM): nah.
ecstasypunk (12:12:33 PM): i was reading
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:12:39 PM): okay
ecstasypunk (12:12:44 PM): okay.
ecstasypunk (12:13:00 PM): i get to go to target today (this could be the highlight of my weekend)
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:13:06 PM): i see
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:13:09 PM): why is that?
ecstasypunk (12:13:23 PM): uhh...cos i have $30 in giftcards to spend there.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:13:32 PM): hmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:13:39 PM): i might be going to kohls
ecstasypunk (12:13:46 PM): sounds exciting.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:13:50 PM): very
ecstasypunk (12:14:02 PM): but..i get to buy cds
ecstasypunk (12:14:04 PM):
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:14:13 PM): i see
ecstasypunk (12:14:19 PM): mhmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:14:36 PM): so
ecstasypunk (12:14:39 PM): so?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:14:45 PM): is that the only thing you're doing today?
ecstasypunk (12:14:50 PM): uhh
ecstasypunk (12:14:54 PM): yeah.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:15:07 PM): hmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:15:10 PM): okay
ecstasypunk (12:15:13 PM): hmmm.
ecstasypunk (12:15:25 PM): what about you?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:15:45 PM): i think today will be a little slow
ecstasypunk (12:15:54 PM): oh?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:16:08 PM): yes
ecstasypunk (12:16:28 PM): why is that?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:16:38 PM): nothin goin on
ecstasypunk (12:16:49 PM): sounds like my day.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:17:04 PM): i see
ecstasypunk (12:17:17 PM): i'll bet you do
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:18:05 PM): not really
ecstasypunk (12:18:15 PM): no?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:18:33 PM): nah
ecstasypunk (12:18:39 PM): i see.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:18:48 PM): do you?
ecstasypunk (12:18:55 PM): when im not sneezing yeah
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:19:03 PM): umm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:19:06 PM): okay
ecstasypunk (12:19:14 PM): been sneezing a lot since i woke up
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:21:36 PM): hmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:21:42 PM): sick?
ecstasypunk (12:21:58 PM): im pretending im not...i think i caught my mother's cold
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:22:07 PM): okay
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:22:11 PM): i'll just go then
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:22:16 PM): so you can rest
ecstasypunk (12:22:18 PM): no
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:22:22 PM): but
ecstasypunk (12:22:29 PM): ive been in bed for hours
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:22:39 PM): but
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:22:45 PM): you sick
ecstasypunk (12:22:53 PM): so?
ecstasypunk (12:22:58 PM): nobody else has to know
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:23:21 PM): fine
ecstasypunk (12:25:11 PM): fine
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:25:34 PM): sooo
ecstasypunk (12:25:40 PM): so?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:26:16 PM): anyhoo
ecstasypunk (12:26:21 PM): mhmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:27:21 PM): david is on
ecstasypunk (12:27:31 PM): is he?
ecstasypunk (12:28:05 PM): too bad im listening to silhouettes
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:28:42 PM): uh huh
ecstasypunk (12:28:50 PM): mhmm
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:28:59 PM): i should go
ecstasypunk (12:29:06 PM): you should?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:29:09 PM): yes
ecstasypunk (12:29:12 PM): okay.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:29:37 PM): what time are you going tomorrow?
ecstasypunk (12:29:50 PM): uhh..idk..probably in the morning before They go to work.
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:29:59 PM): i see
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:30:04 PM): so that would be...
ecstasypunk (12:30:16 PM): i have no idea.
ecstasypunk (12:30:33 PM): and now i must go too
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:30:40 PM): okay
ecstasypunk (12:30:46 PM): i love you
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:30:51 PM): i love you
ecstasypunk (12:30:56 PM): bye?
NYJetsFan4Life28 (12:31:00 PM): bye

goddess i love him..
perhaps i shall call later today.
-holly-
 
heaven has returned
08.08.04 (7:54 am)   [edit]
justin is back.
he got back last night.
we talked on the phone for like a half hour..10:30-11ish..it would've been longer but They came home.
oh well.
the week starts tomorrow.
tomorrow is school registration..yay!
i cant wait for school to start.
i'll be able to slip into the monotony of things, get lost in the crowd, forget about these boring, hellish last weeks of summer.
hopefully i have classes with friends.
okay, scratch that..hopefully i have classes with david and justin.
ive basically lost all my other friends.
amy is back into her depression, cutting, anorexia thing, and her friends (you know the ones who turned her in that she hated and then when she came back desided she loved) are "helping" her.
whatever, i dont need her.
mindy...i dunno. i feel all awkward talking to her. maybe it's just cos we only talk online...eh, im confused about her and i. whenever she mentions hanging out i always say i have plans..
sam..well, im not really sure what happened there.
i guess we just grew apart. she has sports and church and i have justin and sitting around at home.
taylor jo..she has so many other friends im sure im not too much of a loss.
we talk online sometimes, but the last time i saw her was a chance meeting at summerfest.
oh well.

so that's it.
im coming out of summer with two friends.
two people in the world that i trust.
david and justin.
they mean the world to me.
but im just rambing now..i guess i'll go.
-holly-
 
jealousy
08.06.04 (5:31 pm)   [edit]
ugh.
ever since justin has been gone i notice all the millions of times zach and amy say "i love you" to eachother.
it is soo annoying.
i wanna hear someone say that to me.
((this weekend, he's coming home this weekend))
it's getting annoying.
whenever they post in eachother's journals it always ends with "i love you" or what-not.
and in their entries its all like "i cant stop thinking about zach/amy", "oh i love amy/zach soo much", "i wish i could talk to zach/amy right now", "i miss amy/zach, but i love him/her so much"
DAMMIT WE GET THE POINT!
i want my justin back.
i miss him so much.
the days we spent online seem like a vague memory...the last time we did that was..two, three weeks ago?
i forget.
awhile ago..too long.
mmmm..

we wished our neighbors farwell this evening...they're moving to West Bend, Wisconsin..6 1/2 hours away.
but it's close to where my aunt and uncle (His side) live, so we may end up seeing them again.
:D
it's sad to see them go, but im almost glad to be rid of that annoying lil girl...ugh.

onto this weekend..
hopefully we're (me and Them/Her) going to the mall tomorrow.
Tax Free Weekend..which i shouldn't have mentioned to Her because..now she'll probably want Him to go.
that is if She starts feeling better.
:roll:
when i called She said that She felt like She was coming down with a cold or something..and She's been really sleepy and such since They got home.
eh..She'll be better tomorrow.
::crosses fingers::
i really wanna go to the mall.
hit Pac Sun, Kohls..Expo?
nick is calling this weekend.
:)
i have to ask if he's still having a party, cos if he is (and im still invited) i'll beg my parents to drive me there.
i already know what i wanna get him..a book!
lol..something of the occult nature.
dunno what exactly.
maybe something on dreams..or tarot.
i dunno exactly.
but yeah.
and justin gets back this weekend...i already mentioned that.
david left tonight..
he's going to a golf tournament and his grandparents?
though ive no idea how it'll all work out.
he gets back in a day and a half..then i think he'll leave soon after that.
but by then justin'll be back.
and everything will be good.
well that's all for now.
later.
-holly-
 
liquid-cheese tears and unmatched music
08.04.04 (7:09 pm)   [edit]
i ended up cleaning the whole kitchen tonight.
She promised i could just load the dishwasher, but then of course it was all quickly forgotten and i had to clean the whole bloody kitchen which smelled like that icky nacho cheese.
ugh.
why do people just make me empty promises?
if she wanted me to clean the kitchen she could've just said so.
I WOULD'VE BEEN MORE WILLING IF YOU'D JUST BLOODY ASKED!
anyways.
then my father and i updated our music player which just fucked it up more.
today has really sucked.
i want justin to come back.
i want it to be the weekend so nick calls.
I WANNA TALK TO DAVID.
wow.
him and i have become really close since justin has left..which kinda scares me.
it's like, what's going to happen when justin comes back?
okay, im done rambling.
for now.
later.
-holly-
 
what would i do without taylor jo?
08.04.04 (8:53 am)   [edit]
ecstasypunk (11:20:36 AM): is it bad to imagine what your friends would look like dead?
eYe K and I 007 (11:20:59 AM): no.. was it a dream?
ecstasypunk (11:21:07 AM): nope.
eYe K and I 007 (11:21:18 AM): who was it?
ecstasypunk (11:21:29 AM): my friend david
ecstasypunk (11:21:34 AM): he's been online for like 14 hours
ecstasypunk (11:21:41 AM): he promised to talk to me today....at like 8
eYe K and I 007 (11:22:13 AM): have you and David been talking like usual lately or has there been a lack of communication?
ecstasypunk (11:22:23 AM): we talk like everyday

eYe K and I 007 (11:22:37 AM): do you often take that for granted or anything?
Auto Response From ecstasypunk (11:22:37 AM): i'm around somewhere..you could call. (515)-669-8699
ecstasypunk (11:23:14 AM): no.
ecstasypunk (11:23:17 AM): we're both lonely
ecstasypunk (11:23:21 AM): we're glad for someone to talk to
eYe K and I 007 (11:23:29 AM): ah.. that could be it
ecstasypunk (11:23:37 AM): what/
ecstasypunk (11:23:38 AM): ?*
eYe K and I 007 (11:24:33 AM): sometimes your subconscience sends you images which you imagine because you're overlooking something important.. if you're both lonely.. maybe it's meant to be
ecstasypunk (11:25:08 AM): im meant to be a lonely bitch who spends the whole summer in her house staring at the computer and not saying a word?
eYe K and I 007 (11:25:27 AM): and him being dead is like reminding you that he's there.. basically like ya know.. be with him.. because you're both empty shells with out each other
ecstasypunk (11:25:57 AM): how did you get the smarts and the looks?
eYe K and I 007 (11:26:23 AM): I'm very much in connection with my subconscience
ecstasypunk (11:26:30 AM): that's hott
eYe K and I 007 (11:26:32 AM): oh yaeh
ecstasypunk (11:26:38 AM):
ecstasypunk (11:27:12 AM): but he promised.
ecstasypunk (11:27:19 AM): he never breaks promises
eYe K and I 007 (11:27:21 AM): maybe something came up..
eYe K and I 007 (11:27:26 AM): like a family thing ya know
ecstasypunk (11:27:30 AM): uhhh
ecstasypunk (11:27:34 AM): suuuure
eYe K and I 007 (11:27:51 AM): hey..cant overlook the good things and go straight to the b ad..
ecstasypunk (11:28:11 AM): hey, it's in my nature to do just that
eYe K and I 007 (11:28:32 AM): well he's prolly not dead..
ecstasypunk (11:28:38 AM): i am very in touch with my morbid side
ecstasypunk (11:28:54 AM): maybe just slipped into a deep coma
ecstasypunk (11:28:55 AM): ?
ecstasypunk (11:29:08 AM): kidnapped
ecstasypunk (11:29:12 AM): house burnt down
eYe K and I 007 (11:29:13 AM): no.. the chances of that are even more unlikely than the chances of him being dead
ecstasypunk (11:29:28 AM): passed out
ecstasypunk (11:29:29 AM): drunk
ecstasypunk (11:29:31 AM): stoned
ecstasypunk (11:29:42 AM): or the most likely of all
ecstasypunk (11:29:44 AM): ditched me
eYe K and I 007 (11:29:55 AM): Holly..there are soo many possibilites on the pessimest side.. if you're lazy like I am.. become an opptimist and look at the good things..theirs far less things lol
ecstasypunk (11:30:17 AM): eh..too lazy to switch sides
ecstasypunk (11:30:19 AM):
eYe K and I 007 (11:31:09 AM): haha so you'd rather look at 1999288736481730489734 possibilites to like 182
ecstasypunk (11:31:15 AM): yep
eYe K and I 007 (11:31:23 AM): well that's no fun
eYe K and I 007 (11:31:35 AM): you're right.. he prolly just ditched you.. he's a guy.. that's in his nature
ecstasypunk (11:31:36 AM): the morbid depressing ones are easier to picture than him dancing in a field of flowers
eYe K and I 007 (11:31:46 AM): true lol
ecstasypunk (11:32:22 AM): oh yay! i dont have to go to for another half hour
ecstasypunk (11:32:28 AM): work*
eYe K and I 007 (11:33:10 AM): work?
ecstasypunk (11:33:15 AM): another half hour to come up with horrid pictures of where david is
ecstasypunk (11:33:22 AM): im working for my aunt for awhile
eYe K and I 007 (11:33:27 AM): where's that?
ecstasypunk (11:33:52 AM): captain jack's tree farm? i do inventory for the gift shop
eYe K and I 007 (11:34:41 AM): fun fun.. you get paid for that..right?
ecstasypunk (11:34:46 AM): mhmm
eYe K and I 007 (11:35:01 AM): how much?
ecstasypunk (11:35:18 AM): not much...bit over minimum wage
ecstasypunk (11:35:46 AM): which is cos i dont have that hard of a job
eYe K and I 007 (11:37:35 AM): I get paid 5.50
ecstasypunk (11:38:07 AM): what's minimum wage now? i haven't worked since last summer
eYe K and I 007 (11:40:35 AM): 5.15
ecstasypunk (11:40:52 AM): ahh.
eYe K and I 007 (11:41:05 AM): ??
ecstasypunk (11:41:18 AM): nothin.
ecstasypunk (11:44:39 AM): it's 4:43 over in london right now.
ecstasypunk (11:44:43 AM): just thought i'd throw that out there
eYe K and I 007 (11:44:59 AM): nice.. who's in london?
ecstasypunk (11:45:04 AM): uhh
ecstasypunk (11:45:12 AM): i have like one friend over there
ecstasypunk (11:45:18 AM): it was just a random thought
eYe K and I 007 (11:45:27 AM): where does David live?
ecstasypunk (11:45:31 AM): here
ecstasypunk (11:46:08 AM): perhaps his brother had a lesson this morning
ecstasypunk (11:46:10 AM): awr.
eYe K and I 007 (11:46:22 AM): prolly
eYe K and I 007 (11:46:30 AM): way to think good thoughts
ecstasypunk (11:46:49 AM): but he always come home after dropping his brother off
ecstasypunk (11:46:52 AM): he never stays
eYe K and I 007 (11:47:01 AM): maybe it was a recital?
ecstasypunk (11:47:04 AM): lol
ecstasypunk (11:47:10 AM): his brother has golf lessons
eYe K and I 007 (11:47:24 AM): well..maybe it's a game
ecstasypunk (11:47:30 AM): eh.
eYe K and I 007 (11:47:35 AM): golf takes forever
ecstasypunk (11:47:38 AM): david played yesterday
ecstasypunk (11:47:48 AM): he would've told me if he had a game today
ecstasypunk (11:47:51 AM): he promised
eYe K and I 007 (11:48:00 AM): maybe his parents are making him stay for his brother's
ecstasypunk (11:48:28 AM): Ecstasy P u nK: i'll be on in the morning
goldfinch04: tomrrow is just a day away
goldfinch04: ok
goldfinch04: so will i
goldfinch04:
Ecstasy P u nK: okay.
goldfinch04: i promise
ecstasypunk (11:48:34 AM): his parents are at work
ecstasypunk (11:50:02 AM): he ditched me
ecstasypunk (11:50:13 AM): it's the only rational explaination
eYe K and I 007 (11:50:33 AM): maybe
eYe K and I 007 (11:50:51 AM): maybe his parents wanted him to go or something..and they told him this morning before he left
ecstasypunk (11:50:54 AM): he either ditched me or he's having a medical problem.
eYe K and I 007 (11:51:02 AM): he'll be on again.. so he'll explain than
ecstasypunk (11:51:07 AM): he is on
ecstasypunk (11:51:14 AM): that's the annoying thing.
ecstasypunk (11:51:17 AM): and he's not idle
ecstasypunk (11:55:59 AM): well i have to go
eYe K and I 007 (11:56:08 AM): alrighty
ecstasypunk (11:56:11 AM): ttyl
eYe K and I 007 (11:56:15 AM): bye bye Holly Dolly
 
Pretty Girl by Sugarcult...this is how i feel right now
08.03.04 (10:49 am)   [edit]
pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
the killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love. [2x]

pretty girl... pretty girl...

pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out: you can never get him out of your head.

it's the way that he makes you cry.
it's the way that he's in your mind.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...

:?
 
hello.
08.03.04 (8:24 am)   [edit]
here i am...starting a new blog.
wondering if the people around here will like me, or if i will just be cast into the shadows
not that it really matters to me.
noo, i dont give a damn what people think
awr.
well, im out for now.
-holly-